May take a break from the internet for a few days. I can feel something bad on the horizon.
I need to get my health under control before something awful and irreversible happens.
It is the most inexplicable feeling; being both attracted to and repulsed by men. Like… How?
I feel like having a cheesy 80s movie marathon…
I fear aging and dying alone. °˖ ✧◝(○ ヮ ○)◜✧˖ °
A lot of my depression stems from feelings of being alien… Being subpar, inadequate, and “wrong”. As I grow older, I’m discovering these feelings aren’t mine… They were given to me. They were foisted on me by an oppressively narrow society that says all the things I just so happen to be are wrong. I internalized it. I believed it. Now, I’m desperately trying to fight my way out of it… But knowing a thing and feeling it in your heart are two different things. I’ll have to keep fighting.
Been stuck in an icky sad place for some time. Trying to climb out of it but it’s like clawing at quicksand. All the positive affirmations and well wishes and hope spots and I still feel like I’m getting nowhere. Tired.