So what exactly is it that sets me apart in these two photos? Is it the floral print on the dress? Is it the boxers I have on in the second photo? The jewelery? The pants? What?
The answer is nothing. I am the same exact person in each of these photos. Absolutely nothing changed within me between these shots. I am still the same sex. I am still the same gender. I am still the same sexuality.
People seem to believe that the stores we shop in and the type of clothes we wear can outright explain the complexity of human gender and sexuality. If a person is trying on a dress, they are automatically a girl. If a person is renting a tux, they are a boy. There is no deviation, and there is no in between. Good luck. I hope you feel comfortable being defined by your boobs/testicles/penis/vagina.
You are born with a sex, not a gender.
If we’re being honest, you can probably tell my sex from the pictures above. I have giveaways. But what you can’t tell is my gender. My gender is something I feel, not look like. There is nothing in this world that can tell you my gender but me. Especially not what I’m wearing. I could put on a star-spangled suit, but it won’t make me Captain America.
Our clothes do not define us.
dys4ia is an autobiographical game about the period in my life when i started hormone replacement therapy. it’s a story about me, and is certainly not meant to represent the experience of every trans person. - Anna Anthropy
This game only takes 10 minutes of your time. Play it.
Everyone please repeat after me:
You can be genderfluid and not appear androgynous
You do not have to wear your gender/genderfluidity/agender in a socially acceptable manner only.
You do not have to meet other peoples standard of what your gender looks/acts/sounds like.
- it’s okay to be genderfluid but usually a girl
- it’s okay to be genderfluid but usually a boy
- it’s okay to be agender one day and bigender the next
- it’s okay to not identify as any specific gender
- it’s okay to keep your gender to yourself
- your gender is your own goddamn business
Grass, Grass, Grass / Psychic
- Between infancy and first grade, boys express their emotions more readily than girls. [here]
- Worldwide, boys aren’t any better at math than girls. [here]
- Young men are more emotionally vulnerable to troubles in their relationships than young women are. [here]
- Men are less rational investors than women. [here]
- Men aren’t worse than women at reading emotional cues. [here]
- Men monitor their partners more than women. [here]
- Men are twice as likely as women to commit suicide after divorce. [here]
- In anonymous settings, women are more aggressive than men. [no shit]
it’s okay to want to try out new pronouns, even if you’re not 100% sure that you’re going to stick with them.
It’s okay to use these pronouns for this half of the year and those pronouns for the other.
It’s okay to not care even a little bit about what pronouns people use for you.
It’s okay to change your pronouns with just a couple people that you feel safe with so you can try it out.
It’s okay to use certain pronouns with certain people or in certain places.
It’s okay to not use pronouns or to use all the pronouns or to use pronouns you made up late one night because it felt gender-good or to use different pronouns online than you do ‘in real life.’
It’s okay to correct people when they use the wrong pronouns.
It’s okay to not have the energy this time to explain to one more cis person that you told them not to call you that anymore when they use the wrong pronouns. Again.
It’s okay to ask your friends to correct folks because you can’t.
What you do with your pronouns is your business. That’s why they’re your pronouns.