Abuse survivor and queer PoC here. I’ve been called everything under the sun…

And you know what? NOTHING BUT SEXUAL ASSAULT FEELS LIKE SEXUAL ASSAULT. NOTHING. NOT BEING CALLED A RACIAL SLUR, NOT BEING OPPRESSED BY THE PERMEATION OF WHITE PRIVILEGE, NOT BEING *CALLED* ANYTHING. Yes, words DO hurt… but the experience of being emotionally and mentally abused is NOT THE FUCKING SAME as being physically assaulted. If you think that, not only are you a horrible person but you’re also buying into the very systems you seem to want to disavow.

That’s a horrible conceit to make, and it’s even more fucked up that you’re trying your damnedest to defend it. IT IS FALSE EQUIVALENCE. You CANNOT use your being part of marginalized group as a coverall for being able to say whatever kind of nonsense you want. YES; EVEN IF YOU ARE A SURVIVOR. ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE A SURVIVOR. YOU SHOULD FUCKING KNOW BETTER. There’s really no excuse for it.

If you want to be a dismissive and offensive crapsack, keep doing what you’re doing. If you actually CARE about being a decent human being, maybe you can stop trying to defend this disgusting idea and STOP COMPARING THINGS THAT AREN’T COMPARABLE. I mean, seriously… What the fuck?

~

Renamok, a whiteness upholding asshole who felt the need to police me on a post I made about MYSELF, AS AN SA SURVIVOR.

Don’t FUCKING come for me, cause I will read you for blood.

1. The fact that you felt the need to insert that you’re a PoC shows the ways in which you will use your ethnicity/race to defend whiteness and uphold its tenets, whether voluntarily/consciously or instinctually. You’re disgusting right off the bat.

2. PEOPLE OF COLOR ARE SUCH A FUCKING MONOLITH, EVEN TO THEMSELVES, THAT TO CONSIDER THE IDEA THAT I MAY HAVE DIFFERENT FEELINGS AND DIFFERENT EXPERIENCES THAN YOU IS UTTERLY BLASPHEMOUS, UNTHINKABLE EVEN. *YOU’VE BEEN CALLED EVERTHING UNDER THE SUN* AND IT’S SOOOOOO *OBVIOUS* THAT I HAVEN’T, NOTHING HAS EVER FELT LIKE SEXUAL ASSAULT *TO YOU* SO FOR ME TO ASSERT MY FEELINGS ABOUT MYSELF ON MY BLOG, FEELINGS THAT DO NOT ALIGN WITH YOUR PERCEPTION OF YOURSELF AS AN SA SURVIVOR, IS JUST FUCKING RIDICULOUS RIGHT? Like how selfish can you be, how fucking inconsiderate and abhorrent can you be… That I don’t get to feel the way I do about my own life if you haven’t felt the same way.

3. Are you my fucking twin? Were we raised in the same household? Do you know the extent of my abuse in comparison to yours? Do you know how I’ve molded myself as an adult? Do you know what triggers me? Do you even know what the original post was in reference to? YEARS of sexual abuse within my own home, memories that came flooding back when a white man verbally assaulted me with his fetishistic nonsense. Fetishistic nonsense that I get on a regular basis, by the way, but today just happened to be the day that I was triggered by his words and decided to make a few posts about it on Tumblr.

4. Nothing feels like sexual assault TO YOU, so my experience and the experiences of SA survivors who agreed with me are automatically invalid. Nevermind that they sent me messages, completely understanding what I was saying, to the point that they themselves were triggered — YOU don’t feel sexual assault through words, YOU don’t feel the pain and relive the madness through specific sentences and tone inflections, SO FUCK EVERYONE ELSE AND THEIR LIVES. I’M JUST A SHIT PERSON FOR SPEAKING ABOUT MYSELF AND MY LIFE ON MY OWN BLOG. I’M PART OF A SYSTEM I WANT TO DISAVOW BECAUSE I MADE A POST ABOUT THE WAY I INDIVIDUALLY FEEL DURING PARTICULAR INCIDENTS. You seriously came out the fucking cracks and crevices of Tumblr to stan for whiteness upholding policing, you SERIOUSLY stepped up to SUPPORT someone attempting to silence me, but I’M a part of the system? Holy fuck, just how deluded are you cunts.

5. I forgot that white SA survivors and whiteness-upholding PoC get to decide what are and what aren’t false equivalences about someone’s individual life. You know, regardless of how I’ve lived and what I genuinely feel, I’m a shit person for making a post about myself because it doesn’t align with the standards whiteness has set in place. Even though I was in no way stating that every SA survivor had to feel the same as I do. Hmmm… Okay.

I’M the dismissive crapsack, though the person who reblogged my post admitted that they didn’t know I was an SA survivor and misinterpreted what I was saying because of their assumptions. I’M the bad person for not properly representing ALL SA survivors, but rather, expressing my pain as it pertains to my life through a three line post. I’M a crap person though all of you just derailed the original meaning, triggered me, policed me and refused to apologize.

Amazing.

Astounding.

A round of applause.

Bitch just so you know?
Don’t come for me.
I will read you for fucking blood.

Now let me feel those tears soaking through your keyboard.

(via theblacksupremacist)

2 years ago on 24 July 2012 @ 11:48pm 8 notes